May 19, 2012

Hey, It's Wedding Day, Ya Know?

It's official - I am moving to Wisconsin immediately.

1. People here actually know how to drive. Slow drivers stay in the right-hand lane. People signal. I have screwed up directions a couple of times and made some dipshit turns, and nobody honked or gave me the finger. I imagine they said to themselves, "Oh, hey, well that can happen to ya when you're from outta town." which brings me to:

2. People here are remarkably friendly. I don't mean in the same way to Kansas City people say please and thank you. They actually are… nice. And not just people who have to be, like waitstaff and hotel clerks. People behind you in line at Walgreens. People at the gas station. Total strangers who have no obligation whatsoever will comment to me on the fact that:

3. The weather is beautiful. Truth be told it is a little warm for my tastes (I like 72 and overcast but I'm weird like that) but the air is clean and the sky's blue reflects perfectly in the lakes and rivers, which brings me to:

4. The best reason, is that it is absolutely gorgeous here. When I mention that to the locals they look at me like I'm nuts. But it's true -everywhere you look there are very gently rolling hills, thick, beautiful, big trees. And lakes by the dozen. I can't describe how absolutely breathtaking scenery is to a prairie girl like me.

May 17, 2012

What the Hell Is It With All Of the Fireworks Places?


Honestly - I want to know.  

How Do You Say "I Love You" in Swedish?

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I just came back from the Ikea that is next to the Mall of America in Minneapolis/St.Paul (technically Bloomfield, but whatever).  When I first walked in, I literally teared up, like a little kid on her first visit to DisneyWorld. The beauty was so immense I couldn't process it.  I actually gasped - really.  I feel like this is what heaven looks like - everything immaculately organized, well lit, and everyone looks vaguely familiar.  Nobody is sad at an Ikea - nobody.

Cutesy Cattle


I admit that I think these are absolutely ADORABLE.  Now don't get me wrong - if these showed up on my neighbor's lawn I would dial the Homeowners Association BitchLine faster than you can say "Johnson County Beige." But these are fine - they're outside the Iowa Welcome Center/Amish Store/MaidRite Joint in Lamoni, Iowa.  You can't really tell, but they're maid (heh) out of dairy equipment.